Time waits for nobody, whether you like it or not. Just a blink of eye, 188 days had gone in 2018. If you’re reading this, stop at this moment and ask yourself, what had you done for the past 6 months?
I had been struggling and stressing myself on financial concerns. It feels like no matter what i do, how much effort i put in, the problem is still there. Last month, for the second time, i quit my job in Malaysia to work abroad in Cambodia. I’ve always wanted to try something new because i know if i don’t change, nothing will change. I miss home, family to be exact, but if i love them, this is the only way to give them more. At least this is what i can do for now.
The first month here was not easy, and it is still not easy now, words can’t describe the feelings that i had been through. I felt down most of the times, and i thought of giving up a few times in just a month. I guess i was really mentally and psychically tired. Last week, i got sicked really badly. I had extreme high fever, followed by dizziness and vomit. I can’t even walk out to get myself some medicine. I wouldn’t forget the feeling, the moment where i cried and wiped my own tears.
If you ask me how long am i going to work abroad, honestly i can’t give you an answer. All i can say is i’m trying very hard to stay strong. I have something that i need to accomplish, a short term goal.
Sorry i’m quite emotional now but people who cries are mentally stronger right? (:
Different people deal with emotions differently. When i’m happy, i blog. When i’m down, i blog as well. I like to express my feelings through writing and photos. If i’m stress, i workout because it makes me feel better after that. I noticed that the older i am, i prefer doing something more productive and meaningful, instead of wasting time just like that. There’s so much more i wanted to do in my life including giving back to the society.
I guess i’m not that kind of girl that is good enough for anybody. Or maybe i’m not ready to start a new relationship. Or maybe, alot of maybe. Time to time, i do reminisce about the past. People that i’ve met, people that had walked through years with me. The feeling, the concern is still there. Love has so many definitions but for me, love is something real, honest, loyal and lasting, despite of your wealth, appearance and attitude. How many of you can really love someone? Or i should rephrase, how many of you are willing to love someone? I believe that everything in life is a choice, a decision to make, and love should be the same too.